COMMENTARY

If its one thing that people have to learn is that you can never think of anything as easy til you try it. Standing in front of about 200 people and giving your views on an extract from the Bible. Its not easy. Let me assure you. On my first time to give a commentary i sacrificed a whole prep preparing what to say and before that i had tried all possible ways to avoid giving the commentary. Begged and even tried to bribe just so that they could do it as they were more experienced. Everything was in vain and the only option was to skive and join the protestants. I don't how know it happened but i found myself in the catholic chapel and when the time came i delayed for about a minute to see if the future YCS chairman, Kisn Metobo, could give on my behalf. One minute gone and nobody stood. It was now or never and when i heard sighs of impatience, i stood up and made my way to the altar.I looked around and was glad that i had gone to confession. Oh i wished i could die there and then as i was ready for heaven. But nothing. I had to be a man i had
to face my fears, i had to do! For real, i had to grow up. Show courage! I was looking down. I felt like my heart could pop out at any second. My limbs were shaking. My neck was glued to my chest and my tongue and lips were too heavy. I gave it a trial and looked up and saw faces desperate for a commentary and was glad. I felt something burn in me and i pulled out a piece of paper where and i had written some notes. I started but with a bit of stammering. Some laughs here and there and the involuntary repetition of the word yes. Before i knew it it was all over. The applause from the congregation made me smile and was reassured that i can be brave. Little did i know that i would became the House rep of Kinya in the YCS Committee. That means that am gonna do a whole lot of commentaries before i get replaced, OH GOD !!!

Curse of the mountain bikes: Part I

As i write this reader am so fed up and afraid that this problem aint gonna go away. I feel cursed ! Thats right... cursed. I dont know who did this but i have my suspicions cos am fond of attracting a lot of hate. And out of all the things that this witch/wizard chose to curse, it had to be my bikes ! WHAT THE HELL!! Shit! Eff ! Bloody bastard! Those are the only things that ensure that i don't go back to my pig hippo ogre self and then u jinx them! Who does that ! Btw i ain't gonna sit down and watch myself go back to that lousy life ! Let me get to it. I feel cursed cos my bikes keep getting damaged and even after repairing, a week doesnt pass and i have to return it. If u think am just being silly to think that those bikes are cursed , read the evidence below. I got my 1st bike a few years ago and all was well for a few weeks until it all started. One of the pedals fell off. Wtf! Never in my years of biking have i ever heard of a bike pedal falling off. I got it back on with pliers and the damn thing kept falling off after riding for a while. I took the bike for repair and the nut was tightened tightly with a spanner and i left the repairman sh10 richer for just tightening a nut!A day later and the pedal was at it again. I decided to live with problem and would carry pliers around when riding. Let me try to summarize cos this note can lead to a book. Next followed the daily punctures. I would take the bike 4 patching but i dont even ride the bike too far away from the shed and the tube bursts. My dad and i decided to add small strips of tube to the on top of the rims and the problem was solved. Recently my dad decided to take the bike for full servicing after he refused to buy a new one. I told him that the bike was too slow and hard to ride cos i would sweat like crap after riding for just a few minutes, one of the gear changers was broken and the front tyre couldnt stay inflated. After riding the bike after repair, i felt like i was riding a new ride! I rode to the estates field and i was riding back home and all over a sudden i couldn't move the bike. I tried to pedal but the damn thing wont move ! A friend of mine noticed and told me that one of the gears was broken and surely enough it was. Not just one but all except one were broken. My dad took it back and again it was as good as new. Oh that didnt last. After a few weeks of riding the puncture saga commenced. The first tyre got a puncture but it was no ordinary puncture, actually the tube's valve had come off in a way that you couldnt even glue it back. Dad bought a new tube and i replaced it. Its still there up to today. Just a few days later the back tyre continued the saga. I couldnt believe it! Its valve too had come off. Dad bought a new tube and just as usual i replaced it. I then filled it up with air. I then ecstatically got my self ready for a fun fine ride. Before i had even walked 10cm to my bike or say Jack Robinson. KABOOOM!!! My mum and everyone come running to my room fearing that i was dead only to find a devastated George Kinuthia mourning over a flat tyre. The blast was so loud that it took me a while to regain my hearing. Never been so scared ! On close examination of the tyre my dad came to the conclusion that the tyres were getting worned out and that the tube was getting exposed to the rough parts of the tyre and of course the murram road. That bike is now history and am looking at it right now. What is left of the bike tyre is just the skeleton and the rest of the bike is just busy gathering dust in my room. Pity ! Any interested buyers ? So after that story , are u convinced that this bike is cursed? If not, wait for part 2. My dad abandoned the bike and decided to buy me a new bike. What he didnt know is that the worst had just begun!!!!! TO BE CONTINUED ...

We made it unisex.

Parfum for men, lotion for men ,lip balm or is it lip care for men, ear rings or is it studs ... for men ,high heeled shoes for men ,Google if you don't believe me, hot pants short just like a miniskirt, only tighter and for men , thongs and i wont censor it, THONGS for men ! Eh! Am not yet done. In fact its about to get worse a whole lot worse ..... G-strings! Yes! Unbelievable wearable, comfortable G-strings for men! Girls, how does that sound ? Boys .....a..aa...I thought so too! You want to hear more ? Okay. Lets see ... Girdles, yes, girdles for men. From the men's section of Victoria Secrets . Am yet to prove that, so i could be wrong . Skinny jeans . Skinny jeans for men . You guys approve of that, but i am not going to share a wardrobe with my sister for the sake of fashion !! Those things are inappropriate wear, to wear only when sleeping. Girls have a figure to show you know ! Salons these days are unisex. There are even male hairdressers. And fashion is no longer a female profession . Honestly men make better ladies' wear since they know what women will look good in. Make up. Men are buffing themselves up with that stuff nowadays . If you don't believe me ask the news anchors. Or just Google. House-grooms if that is the opposite of housemaid and they have been there for quite some time. The business of cooking has always been unisex. Pedicures: I have seen it with my own eyes, shocked my mum, a man giving another a pedicure! Am hoping pink still belongs to girls.We don't want it! Saying 'Real men wear pink', you must be on crack!  Trust me when i say women prefer a male gyna ,ask them! Or rather ask my mum. Or your mum. Whether you are impressed or not , we made it unisex!!

Used!!

Man i feel like i have been a prostitute all those years. Used like a prostitute ! And me shamelessly stupid and quick and easy to convince and deceive . All those that have used me you know yourselves. Guys why did you do that to me? Why do you do that to me? What have i ever done to you! Damn it ! Taking advantage of my good heart and generosity. I almost destroyed my legacy in school because of what someone did that i thought he will never ever do. Bitch knows himself . I need not mention names. I have never realized that i have been this used. I feel like a rag man! Like the remains of sugar cane after sucking it dry! Man now i have trust issues. Thank God i don't have many friends. I would be dead by now! I don't  know if am a magnet of deceive but everyone seems to do it . Family and even friends . Oh they know themselves ! Am not just gonna sit here and do nothing about it, but am gonna change ! I was told at school that my good heart will be my destruction! Am sorry for the one i hurt because of my actions . Imagine being told by a person that you ruined their year ! Am cursed ! Cursed with a forgiving heart ! For that am not going to curse any one . I forgive them . But am not ever going to be deceived ever again! God forbid. Hallelujah Amen!! Am changing. Am no good no more . You assist someone, they turn into devils . Help someone drowning, i could be rescuing a murderer . Am sorry but for those who are guilty. Its your fault ! You have ruined me! But remember....... Gods watching!!!

Under Pressure

Now am pressurized and i have got just 10 more years to make things right. Men days are passing. Men weeks are just like seconds these days. I feel like am back in school counting days and rushing to meet the deadline. Why all these you ask. Well i recently attended an all males seminar and during then, a boy asked the men the appropriate age for marriage. What i remember hearing is ' boy you better get married before 28 if not probably you wont enjoy your retirement.' Well this is bad news for me. I have never had a relationship since i left my mothers womb. Recently some boys wanted to know how many girlfriends i had at high school and i felt ashamed, stupid and weird telling them none. Please guys i know what your thinking but the only reason i have never bothered is cos i think its stressful and there is nothing i hate more than seeing a broken heart. And i cannot tolerate living with a rust bucket yet i don't want to see a break up. I don't know what to do. My head is bursting with pressure! I have never approached a girl and told her i love her. I don't know how it feels to have a relationship and i cannot even differentiate between love and lust. Am kinda of a lustful kind of guy and i know it will put me in trouble someday and divorcing is a sin. If it's having relationships, i better start now cos practice makes perfect but still no sex until marriage. I know am under pressure! What i heard is that its only abnormal and useless men who don't get married. But i don't wanna mess up! I believe that God has designated the right someone for me out there. If its means waiting ........... am patient!

Preoccupied

Sometimes i really wonder if i even like her ...I mean love her. She used to be like the only something in my nothing or was it just because she had this striking resemblance with my crush miles away who i held hopes to see and open my heart to and express myself more than i have ever done and get off this burden, these heavy fumes that won't let me breath. I tried to tell my sister about her but it was futile, Oh my sister thought otherwise. But this girl was and is special to me. I have watched her grow back then when she was a nuisance, a baby but astonishingly the most beautiful girl i had set my eyes on. I remember that she is the only girl i mostly talk to others about but  i don't know why. Oh i try to figure out this everyday but i only get a headache. Oh i try to get her of my mind and this just gets me more frustrated and my head aches the more. What am i saying! I haven't even had the chance to talk to her & am so preoccupied about my own feelings i forgot about hers! Oh! Does she or not feel the same? That's the question.