Friday, 4 March 2016

KCSE 2015 TOP SECONDARY SCHOOLS

Ranking was banned by the ministry. This here is courtesy of The Daily Nation.
Kabarak High School – 11.667.
Maseno School – 11.393.
Alliance High School – 11.37.
Utumishi Academy – 11.1704,
Kapsabet Boys – 11.15,
St Joseph’ Boys in Trans Nzoia County – 11.0,
Sacho High School – 10.973,
Light Academy, Nairobi – 10.93,
Rang’ala Girls High School – 10.9 and
Kapsabet Girls High School – 10.89.
Light Academy, Mombasa – 10.86,
Asumbi Girls High School – 10.833,
Kanga High School – 10.8,
Rumuruti Mother of Grace Boys secondary – 10.78,
Murang’a High – 10.74,
Pioneer School – 10.74,
St Patricks’ Iten – 10.7,
Maranda – 10.6,
Chogoria Girls High School – 10.569
Kagumo High School – 10.54,
Sheikh Khalifa Bin Zayed 10.53
Lenana School – 10.5                                                                                                    
Litein Boys High School – 10.37.
Strathmore School – 10.35,
Friends School Kamusinga – 10.28,
Kapenguria Boys – 10.217,
St Mary Boys – 10.08,
Moi Girls – 10.04
Booker Academy – 10.4,
Sing’ore Girls – 10.4,
Abu Hureira Academy – 10.02,
Kipsigis Girls – 10.1,
Samoei High School – 10.01,
Kisii School – 10.0

Friday, 15 May 2015

... WORD OF THE DAY JOKES!!

Cause they are trending like crazy!!


Kikuyu word of the day Uterus.:”We know arsenal are the FA champions 2014 is not a must uterus!”
Kikuyu word of the day: roar – “The government should roar the price of basic commodities”
Kikuyu word of the day MOROCCO-eg ” its the hope of many kenyan artists that Djs and radio stations play morocco music.
Kikuyu word of the day: Tissue. Example: Kimani, you are doing it wrong, lemme Tissue how to dougie
Kikuyu word of the day MAINA: The casualties suffered MAINA injuries
Kikuyu word of the day MACHARIA eg.. The guests arrived MACHARIA than expected!
Kikuyu word of the Day AARON…Kamau was broke so he asked for aaron from Barclays Bank.”
Kikuyu word of the day ARROW..Njoroge’s phone rang,he picked it up and said arrow
Kikuyu word of the day: Mushroom. Example: I need to buy another sofa. There is too mushroom in my house.
Kikuyu word NDERITU…In a sentence: “John’s car stalled in traffic because of NDERITU fuel he put.
kikuyu word of the day wheelbarrow – we have no tea leaves left, wheelbarrow some from our neighbour
Kikuyu word of the day….”CHICKEN WING” Example in a sentence: “Njeri plays the Lottery everyday so CHICKEN WING some money”
Kikuyu word of the day:4.ROUGHENED – My sweetheart gives me ROUGHENED affection
kikuyu word of the day: WHEEL CHAIR .example,If you dont have money 4 food dont worry,Wheel Chair mine (sourced :http://nairobiwire.com/2014/05/hilarious-kikuyu-words-day.html)
 Luhya word of the day: Menopause Example: Chunga maisha pwana utang'olewa meno pause."
Kalenjin word of the day MAGAZINE: Huyo ni mtoto wa pratha ya papa yangu , sisi ni MAGAZINE. 
Luo word of the day '"Cyber" When Rose came back home alipata kama mwizi "acyber" kila kitu

Kikuyu word of the day: Cuddle. Leo hakuna stima itabidi muwashe cuddle
Kikuyu word of the day: EYEBROW. E.g. Please wait, before you go EYEBROW you a kiss.
Kikuyu word of the day SOLANGE. I wonder how JayZ kisses Beyonce coz his lips are SOLANGE.
Kikuyu word : IRIGU It is IRIGU to drive a car with tinted windows
Kikuyu word of the day “rav 4″ My rav 4 u is real
Kikuyu word of the day ‘kikuyu’. If you dont leave my house sai sai i have strong legs i will kikuyu out
Kikuyu word of the night is COBRA Usage: Nimepereka viatu kwa Cobra zishoneshwe.”
Kikuyu word for the day lumia Njoroge ako lum ya ciku wamelala
Kikuyu-American word of the day: ANGOLA In a sentence: ANGOLAgo now or I’ll be late
Kikuyu word of the day, PRIEST. “Are you the new pastor? I’m priest to meet you.”
Kikuyu word of the day; WANGARI: Huyu ni dereva WANGARI gani?
Kikuyu word of the day: LADY. ‘Yes sir, I am LADY to do my presentation..'”
Kikuyu word of the day..Horror…”When you get to town, just horror and i will come to pick you up”
Kikuyu word of the day SHAKE UP’Kamau is not feeling well,he needs to go for a shake up’
Kikuyu word of the day “LOL” The ball is LOLing on the ground
Kikuyu word of the day: CHINA : Viatu zangu ni chafu, nitapitia kwa choe CHINA
Kikuyu word of the day: Nerea: Nilionerea nitoe mimba yako
Kikuyu word of the day: Kupata matatu iko na wifi, nerea sana

Kamba words
Kamba word of the day is WIRE. Eg : WIRE ujinga bana! LOOL
Kamba word of the day “PAINT” Used in na sentence “Mutiso quick, call an ambulance, muli amePAINT”
Kamba word of the day: Ending. Example: Its gotten late. I should be ending to class now.
Kamba word of the day HONDA. At a hotel “Mutuku just get the menu and Honda for everything”
Kamba word of the day: L Example: All sinners will go to L.
Kamba word of the day HYUNDAI.. if a car hits u, Hyundai!!!””
Kamba word for the day is “Tumaini” and example in a sentence is “Tumaini twa ng’ombe ni tamu kuliko twa Mbuzi”
Kamba word of the day: BEYONCE Example in a sentence: Ndon’t copy me. Njust Beyoncelf.

Kalenjin word of the day: AGA : Eh! Si vera ako na AGA !
 

Monday, 3 March 2014

FREE INTERNET DOWNLOAD MANAGER 6.18.12 WITH PATCH!!

100% working IDM version 6.18.12 cracked with patch!!
Download from link below: Wait 5s then click ad. Click Regular download. Wait 30s. Enter the Captcha displayed in solvemedia and click continue. Click regular download by browser. Now the download can begin. Please be patient. In case of problems inform me.
http://adf.ly/eLCJu

Saturday, 15 February 2014

KCSE 2010 RESULTS NAIROBI COUNTY/PROVINCE (ALL SCHOOLS AND STUDENTS)

For a complete list of KCSE 2010 results for all schools and students in Nairobi County/Province , download the PDF below. Click any of the links. In case of any issues comment below.

http://adf.ly/1WeDEb                                        
http://adf.ly/1WeDRq

Wednesday, 12 February 2014

How to remove virus turning files and folders into shortcuts. 100% working.

I'll go straight to the point.
1. Download the files below. You'll need them. Wait for 5s then click SKIP AD.

i. Smadav antivirus    link:   http://adf.ly/dT2hr
ii. Everything.exe       link:   http://adf.ly/dT2QD

2. Install both softwares.
3. Using Smadav scan your computer (harddisk ,registry etc) ,flashdisk/memory.
4. DON'T click fix all yet. That won't get rid of the virus. Trust me.
5.Open taskmanager (Right click taskbar)
6. Click processes tab. Look for wscript.exe.
7. Right click it. End process
8.Click Start . Search for msconfig
9.Look for wscript (under command) . Untick it. Click OK.
10. Now you can go back to smadav. Click virus tab.
11. Look for a path starting with C:\ or D:\   or whichever letter your hard disk is. Look at the whole file path is you will see the name of a file ending with .vbs. Copy or memorise that name.
12. Open Everything.exe and paste the name of the file.
13. Is should have an S kind of icon and there should several of them. It should end .vbs.
14. Click to select. Press and hold Shift then press delete to delete them completely. Delete all of them!!
15. Now you can go back to smadav and click fix all.
16. If it shows error . Don't worry. Thats because there is no longer any virus to delete.

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!! If you got any queries please do comment below or you can email me mainakinuthia@gmail.com .. and if I have been of much much help, you can help me raise some cash for a laptop below. Thank you guys!!



Wednesday, 29 January 2014

Matatu Sticker jokes / quotes.

 

 Well Kenyan matatu's are known for their rather rude but wise sticker quotes/jokes. Here are some of them, feel free to add more:


  1. Usilete stress kwa gari.
  2. Usifungue madirisha, ungetaka upepo ungebebwa na bodaboda.
  3. Kama una haraka ungesafiri jana.
  4. Hakuna stage ya kumi,kula ndizi kisha ganda kalia uteleze mpaka tao
  5. Kama una haraka sana shuka ukimbie
  6. Songea mwenzako starehe ni kwa wheelchair
  7. Wauliza konda, iko kiti? Kwani wengine wamekalia ndoo
  8. Kulipa ni lazima Change ni ukikumbuka
  9. Dere ana bibi,konda anatafuta
  10. Kulipa fare kwa mwanaume ni kawaida lakini msupa tunaeza ongea
  11. Marehemu alituacha kwa kukosa kufunga mshipi kama wewe
  12. Unajifanya mkali kwa gari na kwako wewe ni bubu
  13. Ungesikiza mwalimu ukiwa shule saizi ungekua na gari yako
  14. Derefa ni yesu makanga ni saitani
  15. Hatusemi wewe ni mnono lakini ukikalia viti mbili ..
  16. Kushuta ni sare, kutapika soo
  17. Kupanda ni popote kushuka ni stage
  18. Kama inzi angeacha ujinga,angetengeneza asali 
  19. Ati mwisho wa gari ni hapo, Kwani ikipita hapo inakuwa ndege
  20. Ukiona fare iko juu ndiyo mwanzo wa msoto shuka ukimbize barabara
  21. Salimia huyo ako kando, kukatiana ni mkishuka!
  22. Msongee kidogo dere anashuka pale mbele uketi
  23. Hata ukipimwa sitaki!
  24. If you miss the driver, kiss the conductor
  25. Heri kununua MATATU kuliko kuoa BIBI Mkorofi!
  26. Ati hakuna kiti? Kwani hawa wako hapa wamekalia mikembe ya rangi
  27. Hata maji chafu huzima moto
  28. Kama gari iko na joto ,shuka upande fridge
  29. Nyamba ukitoka
  30. Kama hujanunua hapa usikulie hapa
  31. Ukichengwa tulia!
  32.  KARAO ALIPE GARI
  33. mbuzi kala mkeka,wadaku mtaketi wapi?
  34. Dere ni waya,konda ni faya..we huwesmek!
  35. Hakuna stage ya hapo dere. 
  36. Hata ukipimwa hakuna dawa
  37. Starehe ya gari ni kupanda nyuma.
  38. Dere ako sawa, konda fitty kabisa mbona wewe ni sumbua?
  39. Mapenzi kwa gari ni wanne wanne ka orbit!
  40. Unaringa na haujapimwa
  41. Dere ni moto, Konda ni wazimu, usituletee stress kwa hii gari!
  42. If the music is too loud then you are too old
  43. Unajifanya ngombe ukamuliwe na nani?
  44. Mzee ni wewe!
  45. Ukitaka kuketi starehe,nunua gari yako! 
  46. Unajifanya asali ulambwe na nani?
  47. Si ati ni gari haina mbio ,jam ndiyo kubwa
  48. Makosa ya marehemu ni kuwa hakutumia juala.
  49. Kama utamu waua,sumu ya nini?
  50. Usiharakishe dere...wee ndio umechelewa
  51. Mdomo mkubwa chapati waikunjia nini?
  52. More seat upstairs
  53. Usitoe viatu kwa gari!
  54. No calls please sms only
  55. Juzi sare,,
    Jana sare,,
    Acha aibu.!
    Lipa leo!

Thursday, 17 October 2013

University of Nairobi Chemichemi Wi-Fi network not connecting ?

Frustrating, isn't it? You followed all the steps in http://wiki.uonbi.ac.ke/doku.php. You downloaded that software that keeps saying chemichemi Failed ......retrying. You try to connect and you see a red X next to Chemichemi. You click and a message appears "The settings on this computer for the network do not match the requirements for the network".  Well don't start crying. It will only take you a couple of seconds to solve. Under Wireless Network Connection > Right click on Chemichemi > Click Properties > Under Encryption type change from TKIP to AES. Voila! C'est tout! Problem solved. If it works ,or not, or if you have questions, please do comment below. Hopefully those ICT guys will solve this issue soon.

Monday, 23 September 2013

The terrorists that attacked Kenya's Westgate mall are not of Islam !

I begin this post by first sending my deepest condolences to those who lost their loved ones in this tragedy and I pray to God that he may give you strength. For the injured I pray for you a quick recovery. For those with loved ones still under the terrorist hands, take heart for God is with them. I commend those who have waited in the long lines to donate blood in order to save lives, those that have contributed in the fundraising to aid the affected ( 40 M plus by the time this post was written) , those that have donated food to the law enforcement officers and those that have been praying for the affected. It is now the third day now since the Westgate mall was attacked by gang men, killing about 70 innocent civilians and injuring close to 200. Al Shabaab has of course confirmed responsibility for the attack. By the time of writing this article the defense forces are close to bringing the situation to a close. Al Shabaab aim for unleashing this attack is to force Kenya to withdraw troops from Somalia that were sent to liberate the country from this evil terror group. There was an attempt to start religious hatred, division , indifferences and war in the country, which has of course failed countless times. Kenya is a land of tolerant, peaceful, generous, caring, warm, loving and united people. Religion is never and will ever be an issue in Kenya! Wakajaribu kwengine!! We will never be separate or discriminate along religious or racial lines in this great country. I would like also to emphasis and insist that Islam (modern Islam) does not support terrorist or Jihadist activities and those that do so are opportunists that have twisted and doctored the Qur'an and Islamic doctrine to suit their evil and satanic ways. These are not true Muslims! Their religion is not Islam for Islam is a religion of peace,love and goodwill, it is a religion of Brotherhood, it is a religion that fights for the oppressed, it is a religion of tolerance, a religion of equality, a religion that stands for good and a religion that values human life for all life comes from God. These terrorists are of another religion , not Islam ! Their doctrine is not of Islam. Theirs is a past, primitive, doctored and evil doctrine and religion that is nowhere near Islam. As we continue to mourn for the departed and hope for the best, let us unite more than ever before. Let us show our solidarity as a people that can't be shaken. As people that don't fear. As a people that isn't intimated by cowards. As a people united under one God that created us. A people that will always stand and fight for the righteous. This evil invaded our borders and we pursued it. It has done so again and this time there have stepped on the wrong. We won't stop until Somali is liberated. We won't stop until East Africa is liberated. We won't stop until the whole world is liberated from terrorism. This unfortunate tragedy is the second worst terrorist attack since the 1998 bombing of the American Embassy that left about 200 dead and hundreds injured. But lest we forget, our country is neither divided by religious lines nor racial.. It is divided and in fact deeply divided on tribal lines. We insult each other on social media everyday. The amount of hate speech on social media is so much it leaks. We can point an accusing finger at these terrorists for the 70 deaths they have caused and call them savages, barbarians,animals, heartless!! .. but unfortunately and sadly, we are no different. We managed to kill more than a thousand of our own! No amount of terrorism even in Iraq can ever achieve that! May God have mercy on us and change our ways. Tafakari hayo..

Monday, 8 July 2013

Kethi's nomination may have been revoked cause she is not a registerd voter but she is no fraudster!

Today Kethi's nomination by Iebc got nullified on the basis that she wasn't a registered voter and had presented forged documents to iebc for nomination. This has greatly ruined Kethi's image from an intelligent, brave and elegant lawyer to a fraudster of a dishonest lawyer. She has left her fans disappointed, astonished, disgusted, angry..feeling betrayed. Not forgetting that from her tremendous performance during the General election petition, she earned herself fans not just from the obvious Cord but Jubilee too and many saw her as the best to take over her Dad's seat in the senate. There are many who saw her as a Kenyan full of integrity and incapable of such an action. So is Kethi Kilonzo a typical Hero gone Zero? Considering that investigations are already underway to find out how she acquired an acknowledgement slip from a stolen special voter registration book that was only used to register former President Kibaki. Considering that people are already demanding that the Law Society of Kenya take disciplinary action against her, not forgetting that she is still very young in her career. Her political career crushed before even taking off. Her career hangs by a thread and her good name tarnished. Let's not forget time in prison.. 15 years at least for fraud and there are those who would like to have perjury added as the last nail on the coffin. But then again.. is Kethi really to blame?  Is she even have any interest in politics considering that she didn't vote during the last General elections and not just that, she didn't vote for her own father! Then there was that time her step mother said she would vie and that Kethi wasn't going to be in the race. Kethi confirmed that she wasn't wasn't going to run against her mother. We all remember the criticism her mother received made worse that she was going to run on a Narc ticket. Then after a while we hear that she is back on the limelight and seeking nomination on a wiper ticket. My theory.. Kethi is innocent. She might not be a registered voter and her only crime may be just perjury. Kethi is no fraudster. Kethi is no stupid lawyer. Kethi cannot stoop to such low levels. My theory.. she was pushed to run for the senatorial seat. She made it clear that she wasn't registered and thus couldn't vie but was she convinced that it was a small matter would be easily taken care off. Am not accusing anyone #Wiper .Kethi has no access to iebc  documents. Kethi doesn't no people. Whether  iebc officials were bribed.. Kethi  wasn't involved. Kethi  is no thief. Kethi  perhaps and seems to be in the darkness on how iebc cleared her for nomination yet her name was never found in the green books. The  Law society should not ruin her career. They should give her a slap on the wrist , a probation and perhaps a word of advice," Kethi, politics is a dirty,dirty,filthy game so stick to law or get yourself some quality t.p roll!" And to her thousands of fans and the public..just a word of apology is all it takes to reclaim her good name and stature. So Kethi.....we is waiting....................

Saturday, 29 June 2013

TOP 50 BEST CARTOONS OF ALL TIME!!

  1. Johnny Test
  2. Avatar: The Last Air Bender
  3. Regular Show
  4. Family Guy
  5. Fairy Odd Parents 
  6. Ben 10 Omniverse
  7. The Amazing Adventures of Gumball
  8. The Pink Panther Show
  9. Batman the Brave & the Bold
  10. 6Teen
  11. Brace Face
  12. The Penguins of Madagscar
  13. Batman of the Future
  14. The Looney Toons
  15. Samurai X
  16. Gargoyles
  17. Boondocks
  18. Mickey Mouse and friends
  19. The Tom & Jerry Show
  20. Spongebob square pants
  21. TinTin
  22. The Proud Family
  23. Chowder
  24. Code name: KND
  25. Ghostbusters
  26. Jackie Chan
  27. Scooby Doo 
  28. Godzilla
  29. Papyrus
  30. Beast Wars
  31. Johnny Bravo 
  32.  The Simpsons
  33. Johnny Quest
  34. Justice League
  35. Fantastic Four
  36. The Boy
  37. Alladin 
  38. Samurai Jack  
  39. Garfield and friends 
  40.  PowerPuff Girls
  41. The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
  42. The Little Mermaid
  43. Dennis The Menace
  44. Popeye
  45. Planet Sheen
  46. Ed,Edd ,Eddy
  47. Squirrel Boy
  48. Cow and Chicken
  49. Dexter's Laboratory
  50. Reboot

Friday, 7 June 2013

How to leave a Facebook group

DESKTOP :To leave a group, go to the group
and click at the top right corner.
Then pick Leave Group from the
dropdown menu.
MOBILE SITE: Go to Groups . Choose the group . Go to info under Group menu the Leave group . Simple

TOP 50 FACEBOOK PAGES WITH MOST LIKES 2013

# Page Fans
PTA


1. Facebook for Every Phone Facebook for Every Phone 251431463 3764251


2. Facebook Facebook 92442180 368429


3. YouTube YouTube 74839839 231964


4. Rihanna Rihanna 71609271 422998

5. Eminem Eminem 70962596 286603

6. Texas HoldEm Poker Texas HoldEm Poker 70349782 182639

7. Coca-Cola Coca-Cola 66914397 1540648

8. Shakira Shakira 65110565 808693

9. The Simpsons The Simpsons 64930745 374175

10. Harry Potter Harry Potter 62283145 500843

11. Michael Jackson Michael Jackson 59725902 592267

12. Cristiano Ronaldo Cristiano Ronaldo 57756103 1697564

13. Lady Gaga Lady Gaga 57474000 134428

14. Katy Perry Katy Perry 54107446 306318

15. Justin Bieber Justin Bieber 53848058 256646

16. Linkin Park Linkin Park 53657244 261066

17. Family Guy Family Guy 52859755 213808

18. AKON AKON 47733571 308200

19. Beyoncé Beyoncé 47608512 660219

20. South Park South Park 46595100 406567

21. Football Football 46428308 86983

22. Will Smith Will Smith 46070358 735826

23. Leo Messi Leo Messi 45688590 153041

24. MTV MTV 45441695 229228

25. Lil Wayne Lil Wayne 45436452 273334

26. Disney Disney 44398153 743788

27. Taylor Swift Taylor Swift 43649667 697638

28. Music Music 43638394 105724

29. House House 43539668 46422

30. SpongeBob SquarePants SpongeBob SquarePants 43472850 406318

31. Bob Marley Bob Marley 43444628 476552

32. Adele Adele 43358562 281943

33. Selena Gomez Selena Gomez 43255700 337041

34. Vin Diesel Vin Diesel 43143279 3050444

35. FC Barcelona FC Barcelona 42812086 1102238

36. David Guetta David Guetta 42705453 375396

37. Avril Lavigne Avril Lavigne 42605265 675471

38. Megan Fox Megan Fox 42526869 155421

39. Avatar Avatar 41876744 339113

40. Black Eyed Peas Black Eyed Peas 41694480 187777

41. Mr. Bean Mr. Bean 40930020 358219

42. Adam Sandler Adam Sandler 40521287 294008

43. The Twilight Saga The Twilight Saga 40272203 779149

44. Usher Usher 40112020 691781

45. FarmVille FarmVille 39460035 19243

46. Titanic Titanic 39011906 264783

47. Shrek Shrek 38769962 206895

48. Real Madrid C.F. Real Madrid C.F. 38444272 738110

49. Red Bull Red Bull 38386056 447087

50. 成龍 Jackie Chan 成龍 Jackie Chan 38148579 877848